SNICKER BREAK

The prospective father-in-law asked, “Young man, can you support a family?”

The surprised groom-to-be replied, “Well, no, I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you are going to have to fend for yourselves.”

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SNICKER BREAK

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?”

God said, “No, not yet, you have another 43 years, 2 hours and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in the presence of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40 plus years? Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?” God replied, “My child, I am sorry, but I didn’t recognize you!”

 

SNICKER BREAK

I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride.

We boarded the plane and I got the window seat. After a short while I turned to daddy and exclaimed, “Daddy! We’re so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants.”

Daddy moved over and looked out the window. After a moment he smiled and said, “Those are ants my dear, we haven’t taken off yet.”